Memoirs of a reluctant crone…

Art: John Dixon 1772

Memoirs of a reluctant crone…

AGING SUCKS!  That is my current view…as a late 40’s (hear groan, sigh and wailing in grief for a lost ‘unlived youth’ as the heart breaks into pieces with the facts…..alongside the denial…) single, white, childless (read…..never married either) woman I am struggling!

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Yes, menopause, looms, it is here in some ways….erratic bleeds, months with nothing then a sudden surge as the body reignites and finds one or two eggs hidden in the recesses of the ovaries and pops them along for a last ditch attempt of repopulating and already over populated world, the breath and the release as the blood flows once more and I feel ‘WOMANLY’

Other delights….weight, sagging skin, wrinkles, memory fog, aching bones, insomnia, mood swings, libido dropping, exhaustion, lack of direction and can I just say HOT FLUSHES!  Those things that feel like a furnace is slowing beginning to ignite then curses through the body creating heat, redness, clothe removal, sometimes even a prickling that is painful, to leave just as suddenly leaving us bathed in a film of sweat that sits upon the skin like a clingfilm wrapping covering a sweaty chicken….yup this is the ride.

Resonate?  Then join me as we explore, becoming more aware of the Rite of Passage that is ‘The Change’…..an experience that no one can actually teach us about, it is a personal yet female collective experience.  We all have our journey with this journey into the Void. No one the same, yes similarities, yes physiologically there is the science about what happens in the body, but how it affects us independently well…this is the quest…the entry into the Void where we are remoulded, ‘changed’, reconfigured to emerge the Crone, Elder….in my mind the Medicine Woman. 

Menopause is a part of nature…. some of my questions include….

CAN WE SURRENDER?

Can we allow?

Can we be curious in the process?

Can we learn to accept?

To welcome?

Can we surrender to the Void and allow the Great Mystery to have her way with us as we realise all that we have been sitting on, hiding, supressing?  To allow ourselves to emerge birthed anew?

These are my reflections, a series of moments sharing my raw truth, the highs, lows, trips and tips in how to ‘do menopause’….there is no ‘DOING MENOPAUSE’ it DOES US!  There will be rude words, there will be raw truths, there will be moments of seeming ‘madness’ yet, one thing is truly and honestly clear, there is GRACE, there is BEAUTY and there is a way….the way…?

Is through….