‘Stop forcing to grow that which as yet has only tentative roots’. The message that came in my writing this morning.

Art: Ellie Pinterest

For anything to be long lasting and to bear fruit it needs strong roots, a strong foundation.

All to often I have pushed, I have believed something to be before it is time. Indeed I have literally pulled up carrots from the earth to see if they are ready yet! Yes, I am that impatient gardener.

I have rarely if ever fully committed to anything in my life. I feel shame around this. I think it is also indicative for our time. Seeing what is there, taking it, being frustrated when it doesn’t yield results that quickly. Rushing on to the next…lover….addictive hit….diet….exercise regime…job…self development course.

Go deeper not wider. Go deeper not wider.

How can I go deeper when there is such little there? Yet, the irony, there is so much there. Foremost I am here. Deepening my roots, my enquiry into myself. Knowing my own nuances, woundings, traumas, likes, dislikes, values. These are paramount for a strong sense of self.

To cease looking into and to others to ‘complete’ me. Rarely is this conscious no. Alas, this is the unconscious playing its part in our wholly and holy stories.

Our ‘wounds’ our separation from our ancestors, our parents, ourselves.

When we can sit more fully, deeply with a sense of grace and taking of ourselves with all our parts can we I believe fully, truly and honestly engage with life, with other and indeed, then authentically dance in life with strong roots and foundations of self believe, self worth and self trust.

It’s arduous, painful, lonely and frustrating. Is it worth it? Hell yes!