Thank you to the ‘rock friends’ that left like a whisper leaving space.

Sometimes the rocks in the river have to move in order for the river to flow freely.

Friends can be like the ‘rocks’ in our lives. Ones that hold steady and true through the twists and turns of life. Times when our ‘river of life’ feels it is spiralling out of control and we are afraid we will get swept away by the current.

Yet, what if we are ‘meant to get swept away?’ The rocks hold us fast creating a dam in our river. The water starts to become a little putrid for water needs to flow in order to be healthy. Water moves in spirals it is not linear.

That is where many of us live in the ‘linear line of life’: Work, home, if we are lucky a beloved, kids, dog…..’doing life’. Is this what we are called to do? Truly? For some yes, others, No. What is our truth? Dare we follow our true path?

Or are we missing an invitation to the ‘journey of life’ like the journey of a river? Starting at the source spring perhaps a trickle, sometimes a waterfall springing free from the source active and eager to engage.

Some begin tentatively to follow and forge our way down ways across valleys, along pathways and byways. Trickling as we find more flow. More momentum, occasional whirl pools where we are unsure whether we will source it becomes so perilous, we put down and pick up pace and gather ourselves bounding over, around, sometimes slowing other times stopping to lay as a pool glistening, resting yet always moving.

We become playful pools, full of vitality and life giving home to tadpoles, lush plant life, we meet other streams, we can become a river where many meet, only again to find ourselves, our own tributary off on our own adventure again.

Always, we have the banks of the river. Our bodies. These too can take different forms. Sometimes slim, fast paced other times wide and curvy as they begin to meander in the middle phase of life, enjoying the grassy banks, more leisurely pace and interaction with other tributaries.

Rocks can help with the banks. They can also act as a barrier to movement, to flow, to vitality and life force. The truth of our path.

We can work and swirl around the rocks, crashing and thrashing stuck in our own torment through trauma bonding rather than flowing.

We can become complacent and dependent on them. Never fully listening to our own calling of where to dart next, which landscape is our truth. Staying. Confirming. Comparing and slowly seeing our once clear waters become foggy with lack of oxygen.

Then one day the rocks simply go…they roll away….and the river again begins to flow following new directions. Gathering slowly a new momentum for life. Finding a renewed sense of freedom. A new sense of purpose. Liberated from the old ways open to exploring the new.

New tributaries

New rivers

New grasslands

New ponds

New fish

A fresh journey set with the wisdom of the water and banks, the lessons of life where upon we reach the final stage of our river. We open into the wide mouth of our final destination; connection with the greater source and become one.

This my friend a journey of the river. Of life. Thank you for the ones that have been, that are and that will be and especially thank you for those that left like whispers on the wind, no note, no words just space. It gave me space and an invitation to once again find my flow

Tender Heart

I refound this piece that I wrote last year whilst still grieving a relationship that had ended.  I find myself all this time later open hearted and ready to love again.  Ready.  I do believe in allowing time, a grieving process, space before we embark on another adventure into love, whatever that may bring……I am ready….time to start writing again…to begin…

Here is my heart….

TENDER HEART

Time gone, never reclaimed the memory of you fades. The hole in my heart, my life and my home lingers.

You linger like the smell of forests after the rain, the smell of sun on skin, of puppy breath. Fresh bread baked in the morning left out to air. The smells of home. Of love. Of tender Care

I still see your face etched in the pillow where we would lie and talk. There you slept deeply almost not breathing. Just presence. Just you. Perfect you.

Your presence in life touched many and me. So blessed for the times shared. The hours.

Hours, weeks, months and years. So many moments honoured with tears.

I wonder if you ever think of me at all. Your anger and blocking cuts to the vein. Hours scolding like a tattoo artists branding my heart with the initials of your name. Your dog. Your favourite remedy.

The kindness we shared marred now with such distance. A longing a pulling from my heart. Blocked. Cut. Nothing. No more.

Left
Abandoned
Heart break the same

Asking for forgiveness for a moment in time that maybe just once in a while you might look back and smile.

Asking for moments.  For hours to pass, for healing to this tired lonely heart but never a regret of hours spent with you.  Deeply I honour and send love on its way to hold and to heal the precious parts of you whole.

I love you
I thank you
I bow to you and your life

Go well dear one
Go well.